There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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