Midget sex pt 2 tonight
It's Friday. Sex?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
