It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
