he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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