She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
