I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
