When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
