oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I didn't notice because vodka
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
