If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
