you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
