i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
