You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The power of my boobs compel you
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
