I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Never underestimate the power of titties
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
