I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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