happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
