he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
