I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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