make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
