i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
