Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
