So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
