Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
