i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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