if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Randomize
