You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
