Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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