More tranny stories later!
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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