Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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