There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
