the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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