No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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