Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
