I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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