Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
