I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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