loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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