Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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