just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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