sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
