I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
