you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I have fence marks all over my body
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
