She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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