just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
