So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
