I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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