I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
