but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
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