Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
