Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
