He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I need water and some morals
Randomize
